Monkeys!

I didn't sleep very well last night.

You see, I sleep like a freaking baby. I love sleeping. I go to bed, I sleep, I wake up shortly before my alarm goes off, and hey, I'm good. Since early college life, I have never suffered much from insomnia. Hell, I can sleep sprawled halfway off the bed.

It's amazing that the primary thing that keeps me from sleeping - as in, the ONLY thing which has kept me from sleeping over the past five years - is DRUNKEN JOCKS.

So, hey, this is a hearty FUCK YOU to anyone who goes out hooting and howling at midnight because you got a stiffy watching a ball bounce around a big empty arena.

If you are drunken and making noise for any other reason (such as the guy who honks his horn for hours at 3AM), you are not subject to that particular fuck you, so you get your own: fuck you, too.

I'm a bit bitter. It just amazes me that this ONE FACTION is responsible for an entire segment of modern inconvenience. I've known a lot of drinkers, but very few of them are nearly as aggressively irritating as JOCKS. And I've known a lot of jocks, but very few of them are irritating at all unless they're DRUNKEN.

It's like if you mixed chocolate and peanut butter and got urine.