Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Corporations Rock!

Long ago, I decided that if I SAW an ad, I would know that the people who MADE the ad were LYING. For example: "4/5 doctors say..." Nyah - 4/5 doctors say WHATEVER YOU PAY THEM TO SAY, and I'm pretty sure your sample set was carefully chosen. From chemists and economists.

The best way to get my attention with an ad is to say NOTHING.

Which is really what Philips did, so I clicked to here.

Now, Philips is - like all corporations - full of shit. If this were a card game, I'd be raking in the cash, because their straight face is so blank it's clear they're holding garbage.

Looking through their 'simplicity' ads, I am struck by the overwhelming 'salad shooter' feel. "I don't know HOW I EVER lived without it!"

At least, that's what I WAS thinking, until I stumbled across their second to last advert. "Heart Start".

Now, personally, I'm all for the idea of putting DEFIBRILLATORS in every home. Except in the homes of anyone who is CLUELESS about the human body. Like 99.9% of the human population, including me. Or anyone smart enough to sue you because of your product, like the other 0.1%.

We're a society that sues over CURTAIN PULLSTRINGS and ACTION FIGURES. We've already got a huge archive of successful lawsuits against people who TRIED TO SAVE OTHER PEOPLE. We're not even allowed to DEFEND ourselves without being sued - or thrown in PRISON.

What is Philips THINKING? Even with a million safety precautions - which I'm sure it has - I don't see how they could dodge litigation by idiot users and smart lawyers.

What really confounds me is that Philips somehow thinks this product will make them money. What kind of market research are we talking about? Did somebody ask their cat?

No, strike that, what REALLY confounds me is that the FDA apparently CLEARED it for OVER-THE-COUNTER SALES!

I'm confused...

1 comment:

bill said...

I think that you are missing the point that they are making. I've studied industrial design for a while as a way to determine what might be an good direction to take software interfaces (cf Norman, Graves and Petroski for more info http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=862195)

I think that what they are attempting to do is an interesting advancement of the industrial design aesthetic. Another company worth looking at is IDEO for excellence in usable and beautiful designs.

I think that the home human jumper cables are a good idea - if properly designed and implemented. The advantages to be gained as a society far outweigh the potential liability, and I suppose that their lawyers would argue that point should the matter ever come up before a court.