It's my birthday...

And you know what I want for a present? Really really want?

Ring... ring... ring... ring... "Hi, this is Johnny Rad, I'm not in, leave a message."

"Okay... hi-"

"Welcome to our big company's voicemail system. This mailbox is for " "Johnny Rad" ". If you'd like to leave a message, you may do so after the beep. Once you're done, you may either press pound, 9, 6, 7, or 8. Alternately, you may simply hang up the phone when your message is complete. If you want to send a numeric page, press 3. If you'd like to leave a call-back number, press 4. If you'd like to talk to the operator, press five. If you want more options, press star. If you want to talk to an operator, press zero. If you don't have a touch-tone phone, say 'help' in to the headset. If you are deaf or would like these instructions again en espagnol, press el numero uno. If you want to hear a really funny corporate-sponsored joke, press 2. Now we'll wait ten seconds to see if you press a button... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Beep."

"ggzzznnzz- huh? Oh, yeah, I was calling someone. Hey, whoever you are, I forgot who I was calling... call me back."

...

Fix it.

Either that or lots of money. Either or. I could go either way.

...

Most popular gift this year: invites to LinkedIn. It's an interesting idea: "Here's absolute proof that I was thinking of you!" I guess it seems like an unimpressive gift until you realize that, until half an hour ago, my portfolio was invisible.

Anyhow, if you want to give the gift that keeps on giving, you too can invite me. It's like a gift, except painless, pointless, and almost completely impersonal since I made it easy.

That was the most popular gift. Biggest gift?

The moon is full. It would be quite pretty, if I could see through the dense haze of New England. Technically, they call it "rain". Really, it's just "New England". The actual land beneath is nameless: the weather is the constant factor. Miserably cold and rainy, or miserably muggy and rainy. Some days New England ceases to exist for a little while and Virginia or Florida rolls in for a day or two. Unfortunately, Virginia and Florida won't have anything to do with the people of this nameless place, and they roll out as quickly as they roll in, leaving it once again New England.

Bastards, both of em.

...

There, that was my birthday post.

Originally, I wanted to talk about how the brain learns, and maybe make some neural net references. But, eh, too much effort. Besides, everyone already knows all that crap.